Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
