That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
