Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
