We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
