yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
