Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
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pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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