TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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