i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
