just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
