so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
