My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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