There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
