He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
