Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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