I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
