Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Define "chronic" masturbator.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
