i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
