quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
