Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize