Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
nutella sex= disaster
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Randomize
