on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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