I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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