how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
