hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
