oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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