Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
