He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
