is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
