I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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