Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
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I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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