I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
