He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
ttyl tear gas
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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