We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
