I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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