I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize