she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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