i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she smelled like a LAN party
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
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Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize