tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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