Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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