there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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