I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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