Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
They took my balls.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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