Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
