Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
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The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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