brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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