she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
