why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
