Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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