At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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