im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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