Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like death gave me a hand job
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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