He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
