So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
