I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
