Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
