Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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