its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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