Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
